Unconventional Christmas Movies
I like unconventional stories and I especially love a good movie that turns normal conventions on it’s head. I’ve separated this into two sections - my absolute favorites / go to holiday season movies, followed by other movies as we watch them. This will probably take me most of December to write so it will morph over time.
We already had a good start of our favorite unconventional Christmas movies and because it’s sort of our thing our friend Louise sent this list to us and we started watching even more!
I’ve included links to Amazon where you can purchase these fine movies, they are affiliate links, which in theory I get paid for but I’m guessing nobody will ever click them so whatever lol.
Prime Cuts
These are my absolute favorite holiday movies that we come back to watch pretty much every year
Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale
10/10 ★
Absolute perfection and the original film that got me into the whole Christmas Horror scene. A dark Finnish action/horror/comedy about a young boy and his father discovering the true story of Santa Claus. This movie has a slower roll than a lot of horror movies, with the tension slowly building rather than jumping right in. I won’t spoil any part of it other than to say this movie is fantastic, as long as you’re okay with full frontal male nudity. Seriously folks - if you don’t want to see weiners don’t watch this movie because it gets the R rating mostly because it is chock full of old man dangly bits. I mean - it is a european movie and I swear the nudity makes sense.
A Christmas Horror Story
7/10 ★
Multiple interwoven stories set on Christmas Eve, held together with William Shatner as a radio DJ on Christmas Eve on the one year anniversary of the murder of two teens in school basement we follow the story of three teenagers that go on a sPoOkY trip to the scene where it happened. Meanwhile, a young boy starts acting strangely after a trip to get a Christmas tree, a family finds out the true meaning of Christmas from their Aunt and Jolly ole St. Nick fights an outbreak of zombie elves. What fun!
Krampus
6/10 ★
A dysfunctional family gets together for the holidays, but family tension causes their holiday spirit to wane. They find themselves trapped in the house with no power during a blizzard when bad things start happening. Did Uncle Howard (the crazy prepper) bring enough guns to shoot their way out? Let’s be honest - this is a horror movie so probably not lol. Good solid fun, not quite the piece of exquisite art like Rare Exports, but definitely on the watch list every year.
Violent Night
7/10 ★
This is a relatively new addition that we only watched once, but I very much enjoyed it and will definitely watch again. I am of the personal opinion that you can’t go wrong with David Harbour as Santa who is trying to save young Trudy from a gang of mercenaries who are attempting to rob Trudy’s grandma. Sort of has a Die Hard vibe where you replace John McClane with Santa Claus and Nakatomi Tower with an old white lady’s mansion =P
New for 2023
Silent Night
7/10 ★
Apocalyptic black comedy starring Kiera Knightley about a group of old school friends getting together for a Christmas gathering. Seems like a tame setup except for one thing - an environmental collapse has caused a poison cloud to roam the country killing everyone in it’s wake. To prevent people from dying horrible deaths the government has distributed poison suicide pills. The movie has some surprisingly funny parts in it, if you overlook the fact that the plot is way too real for comfort.
It’s a Wonderful Knife
7/10 ★
After making a wish under the northern lights, Winnie finds herself in an alternate universe where she wasn’t around to stop a rampaging murderer. Now she must stop him again to get back to her family. This movie is fun sort of inverse parody of “It’s a Wonderful Life”, with one of the other characters even commenting she wasn’t sure which of them was Clarence and which was George Bailey. I loved Justin Long as the bad guy and you can never go wrong with Joel McHale as Winnie’s dad.
Christmas Bloody Christmas
5/10 ★
This one wasn’t unwatchable, but I didn’t love it. A robotic Santa comes to life and begins a murderous spree. It’s fun for what it is - a slasher B movie that just happens to have (an unstoppable Terminator ) Santa as the bad guy. Ultimately, the best indicator is that completely forgot to write this review until a few weeks after we’d watched it.